Difficulty

I met with my midwife today.

She told me I need to eat more snacks.

Protein rich snacks specifically but more snacks.

You wouldn’t think this would be difficult.  Have a cheese stick,  a handful of almonds.  Would spoonfuls of peanut butter and chocolate chips count do you think?

The problem is I don’t really like to eat.

Is that crazy?

I feel like that’s crazy.

I remember liking to eat.  I remember loving it.  My general state of being includes a love of food…and a love of shoving it in my mouth. In the past pregnancy has heightened that love.

Last time, even when I was mountainous and in a constant state of acute discomfort/pain, I still cooked things just so I could eat them.  I don’t remember ever being more in love with food.

Particularly butter.

I remember working through experiments in my kitchen on a regular basis and thinking to my self “know what would make this even better? Butter. Next thing I’mma do to this deliciousness is add a few tablespoons of the good stuff.”

I usually talked myself out of that.  Not always. Sometimes more butter really was a good idea and in those cases I followed through joyfully but I learned to recognize the butter hunger and curb it when it wasn’t helpful.  There was an instance with curry for example.  The curry didn’t need added butter.  Another time it was hot fudge sauce.

Anyway the point is.  I don’t currently like to eat and it really weirds me out. Who am I? What’s happened to me? Why do I always have to find space inside my body for things like cheese sticks and almonds?

In conclusion; bleh

 

One Response to Difficulty

  1. Lizz Davis says:

    I never like food when prego. I often contemplated the fact that it used to be good and would likely be good again, but it was hard to believe in the moment. That strange nine month long moment.

Comments

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *