One of the sad things in motherhood is opening the nursery door in the morning to find your angel plastered in dried throw up. Oh dear! How long do you think he slept in that? And you! You peacefully dreamed through his distress cozy in your own bed. It’s despicable.
You might check the baby monitor just to make sure it’s turned on and functioning properly. Since it is you can take a little breath of relief that he apparently wasn’t too upset by his gastrointestinal midnight showing for surely you would have woken had he cried out.
Once your baby is clean and acting normal, if a tad extra snugly, you can get on with your day. You’d like to sit and huggabug that baby but soon enough the others will be home and hungry and what do you have to feed them? Nothing. So snugly baby will have to do his snuggling at the grocery store.
When you’re browsing among the moisturizers and he hands you his bink you’re relieved to know he’s feeling well enough to be without that comfort. Then with no other warning you find his breakfast down your collective fronts and you think “well no wonder I slept through the last time.”
It takes some doing to attract the attention of a store worker in that deserted isle but eventually maintenance is notified and someone brings you a paper towel and a handful of wet wipes so you can be on your way to grab that milk you’ve had the rain check for burning a hole in your pocket all week and hie home to care for the wee one stinking in your stinky arms.
If the bagger in the checkout lane puts only a few token items in your reusable bags and sends you home with six, (SIX!) plastic ones holding one item apiece (a bag for the bananas, a bag for the contoloupe, anOTHER bag for the grapes) you’re going to have to overlook it because that sick little lovey isn’t smelling any sweeter as time goes by.
When all of those bags are safely in the house it’s time to see to the stinking situation. The best approach in this case is to put yourself and that baby in the sower at the same time. When he sees you getting the shower ready baby darling will help by attending to his own diaper as best he can. The good news is the diaper was still clean so his pulling it off is no problem.
The two of you are washed up in short order and that’s a good thing because the BANGS require a dry environment in which to thrive and any more shower spray will necessitate an additional round with the blow dryer. But that sweet love bug baby. He reaches toward the shower head and says “baff, eeez!” He’s pairing up bits of his vocabulary! So the water comes back on and the bangs die.
Baby love giggles while the water beats softly on the top of his head and when he’s had his fill you dry him again, feel your wet bangs on your forehead and tuck him cozy in his bed for his morning nap. A nap that he’ll hopefully complete sans throw up while you remove each of your grocery items from their individual plastic bags and finally put them away.