That’s…not a dress

It was bath time and Enzo was last in line. He had just gone potty and Moo was finishing her final rinse off, then it would be his turn. “I can just wear this cuz it covers all my things down here,” he said, smoothing the hem of his t-shirt to achieve maximum length. Then, patting his round little bum he added “This too.”

Today as I was leaving Joann (no, I didn’t find what I needed but thanks for asking) a girl walked in. When I saw her I thought I was witnessing an instance of the “denim underwear” phenomenon that was so prevalent within the walls of my high school. You know, denim shorts so short and snug that they have more in common with underpants than outer pants? Denim underwear were all over the place in the late 90’s. Thankfully, styles shifted (also I spend a lot less time with teenagers now that I’m not one) and I haven’t seen any in awhile.
Wish I’d seen them today.
What I actually saw was worse.
Much worse.
The girl was wearing a long t-shirt. Not over-sized, just long. It was one of those light weight numbers, not totally transparent but still a bit shy of opaque. The sight of her triggered the denim underwear thought but before said thought could completely register I realized my error.
There was no denim involved. Nor were there any pants.
It was the long not opaque t shirt and…a thong. Black. The thong was black. The shirt was white. This is how I know I was not mistaken about the presence of pants as part of the ensemble.
Now, it is HOT here yo. There is something to be said for keeping cool. I have to give her that. But it seems to me any thermal benefit of doing your shopping sans pants would be counteracted by the direct contact between the seat of the car and the bum cheeks. I’m just sayin’… I hope, for her sake, that she didn’t spring for leather upholstery.
When I heard Enz defending his choice to wait pants-less for his bath I chalked it up to coincidence. As I wrote this though, I began to wonder…maybe I wasn’t the only one in my family to notice what the girl forgot.


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