Rose Colored Glasses

I am a single parent this week. The Mr. is away on business. I’ve made it my goal not to be miserable.
There is a upside, small as it may be, to his not being here. There are actually 2 things I enjoy when he is gone. The first is making an effort to prevent my children from being miserable with me. Trying to make the week into special mom-kid time instead of plain old no Pop time. I’m doing better with that this week than ever I have before. It is only the second day, but even so, I was not tired and strained and grumpy when I put the kids to bed. That is usually the case from the get-go, so I think I’m doing exceptionally well on that point.
The second good-ish thing is a king sized bed all to myself. I actually even enjoyed that part during the worst business trip of all time. It was the first time I’d ever been home alone with the kids over night. The Mr and I had spend nights apart, but I had always been the one away from home. Tiny Boy was three weeks old, yes that’s right, three weeks. Just try to imagine, if you can, the hormones flying around this place. Also, it was a 10 day trip to Israel so, due to the ten hour time difference, there were only 2 times a day when we could talk on the phone,and I couldn’t call him, he had to call me.
It was an ugly, ugly time in my life, I spent nearly half of my waking hours crying. During my non-waking hours however, I was sleeping like a babe in a deliciously spacious bed. Sure, I had to get up and nurse, but Tiny was such a good sleeper from the start it was just a half-hour hiatus around four and then right back to reveling in my sprawling, glorious sleep.
Last night was divine. I was a little lonely at first, I like to snuggle right as I get into bed, while I’m clearing my head and getting all mellowed out for sleep, but once that’s done I need my space. I don’t even like my fingers to brush against anyone. Any contact at all interrupts the flow of energy draining from me. Anyway, it took an extra couple of minutes to get to the point of relaxation where I generally roll over and cut off all physical contact until the morn, but once I got there it was bliss. I woke up briefly in the middle of the night and realized I was lying diagonally across the bed. I sighed with joy and slept all the better in the knowledge of my orientation.
I have four more nights with the bed all to my self. I also have four more days to fill with activities to keep me distracted from the fact that the evening will not bring my Love.


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