Warning- this post is not for the weak of stomach!

Yesterday I was in the food court at the mall and there was a girl wearing a “class of ’10” t-shirt and awful denim underpants with a slit about an inch to the left of the left back pocket that equaled the length of the pocket in question, allowing for a generous view of side cheek.
So I’m sitting there enjoying my lunch when she comes into my line of vision. Just then, she plunges her hand down the back of her miniscule shorts and gives her thong a yank. This was no discreet melvin picking, aside from the unabashed plunge down the shorts there was a definite wrestle to right the deeply lodged thong.
There was no reason for such a display, the bathroom was yards away and it wasn’t busy, I know, between brushing squaw bread out of my braces and a 3 year-old who is obsessed with the child size toilet in the family bathroom I made 3 trips during my visit to the food court.
Maybe the worst part? After situating her lingerie she placed her thong-y hand in the (as far as I know) un-thonged hand of her boyfriend and walked away.
I hope he’d already finished his lunch. Or, at the very least, he had something he could eat with a fork so the actual food didn’t touch his bottom-soiled hands.


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